When a "victim" becomes an abuser


You'd think shit will settle down after the case was dropped, but seems the shit is back floating yet again on the Dublin scene and someone who I will refer to as "the victim" is openly abusing it's so called "abuser" yet again because the case was dropped and you know when people don't get their way so it seems after a short break more shit keeps coming out of the wood works, just because.

We don't get everything we want in life shit happens that's inevitable some get it less others get it more, but sadly this is life and something we all have to deal with on various levels and ocasions in our lives.

I just got a word from a friend of mine whom I will refer to as "A" that he was asked politely not to turn up at a certain event that was held in Dublin recently and of course everything points at all the old drama and honestly I felt sooo upset and disappointed at people that I had to write this to hopefully show people where I COME FROM MYSELF AS A FRIEND AND A REGULAR PUNTER IN THE GOTH SCENE OF DUBLIN and also maybe give people some things to think about and being aware of and make their own opinions on this situation rather than take what they hear from people who know nothing about situation of what happened few years back and keep rolling with it and who knows maybe even in the future something similar will happen again and yet again we don't learn any lessons from this or learn how to deal with this as adults and a community as people jump to conclusions without hearing or seeing anything and this shit starts all over just with different names and faces.

As the good old saying goes: There are three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently.

Sadly in this situation there is the "victim" and "A" who she calls the abuser and then somewhere in there the truth is lurking around, but nobody is asking the right questions to get abigger picture.

First things first:

* This is MY SIDE OF THE STORY no victim blaming/shaming here we all have right to feel victims in various life situations, shitty experiences, things that go wrong or not the way we imagined or planned to go, but we also have our own right to see things differently and make our own opinions on situations and events that take place in our community. ALSO nobody forced me, bribed me or made me feel guilted to write this this is written out of my own free will.


* I will not post people's full names on this OUT OF RESPECT we all got jobs to go to and make a living. Last thing we want is people looking for new jobs and future employers googling them and THIS being attached above their names. This applies to ALL PARTIES MENTIONED in the following. I'm a diplomatic bitch like that.


* The following is not "he said, she said" kind of situation I actually personally seeing attack comments made publically online by the certain victims "friends" circle, text messages that were sent between few parties mentioned in the below and me personally being in the middle of some of this mess keeping my mouth shut due to the "threats" that vere very aggressive and public on social media of legal actions being taken against "A" for a ridiculous amount of time. Also some people I have a very long history with, also shared some of their own stories with me that mention some of the people mentioned below because they personally were approached by people mentioned below and I suspect some of you who read it will also be aware of some of the following mentioned below.

* Some VERY GRIM SHIT will come out of this in a way some of it will be personal stuff that few people have kept behind closed doors for as long while as there has being a promise of silence being made. I'm not looking to be sympathised with or being slapping "the victim" badge on me or anybody else, and some stuff would not be suitable for everyone to read +TRIGGER ALERT!+. That's common sense really, but you know what I'm truly sick to my stomach with this so some stuff has to come out to the open for the greater good hopefully and clarity.

* All of the following opinions are my own and are not associated with any clubs, venues, groups or organisations views. Im not involved in any groups or associations and am just my own human being. So no you cannot use *by association card* on clubs, venues, groups or organisations this is my own post and I take all responsability for it nobody else holds any responsability for what I say.

*Why the victim is reffered to as "the victim" in this? Seems appropriate when someone is claiming to be one in this situation so I'm calling people how they portray themselves or are portrayed by the others in the scene currently.I'm not particularly a big fan of this term, but oh well....

There is almost certain guarantee I'm putting my neck on the line here and I will be "shunned out of Dublin goth scene" and made very aware I'm not welcome in certain clubs, venues social gatherings and events etc. because of my views on the situation.

 This self proclaimed scene police, they will also gossip about me behind my back and on their private facebook pages and of course some personal aggressive posts may be posted public because this is what they do when they don't get their way or someone does not support their views, they make it their business to be as aggressive and loud about their views as possible because you know…. Nobody is allowed to have an opinion or different view on the story and if they cannot bully that person to change their views then they will make sure that person knows they are not welcome anywhere and they will scream loud on social media to get their way in the Dublin scene and with some promoters, but I personally will not be using the "I'm a woman treat me like a victim and take my side" card I will just leave people to make their own opinion on this and just be aware of whats going on and doesn't seem to have an end.

I everybody is entitled to have an opinion sure we may disagree on opinions, but in the end we are only humans and everybody got their own story to tell and that applies to all sides. Some of us choose to tell it while others don't and that's ok, but sometimes you cannot stay quiet anymore and have to share your very own side .

So let's begin….

To fill you in on "A's" side of the story if some of you have not being aware of this yet: http://veritas.gothic.ie/

About 3 years ago (yes it's going on for THIS LONG) I heard a "rumor" that "the victim" was accusing my very good friend "A" of rape. My first tought was "OMG A HOW COULD YOU!!" as anybody would spontaneously not knowing the full story jump to a conclusion in an instant of a moment and you know what I ADMIT TO THIS!!! I SOO FUCKING DO!!!! At that time there was another rape case in another scene and this was a very fresh wound considering the dude in another case did admit to it being rape. So you can imagine where I was coming from not thinking clearly.

Especially since I only known of "victims" existance through seeing her in a club here and there and heard few people talking about her. She seemed like a lovely girl at the time, harmless and bubbly, but few of us were questioning of her friend circle, if you are in "the scene" I don't need to explain this you know well enough what I'm on about and besides that's another long story all together. So of course my heart went out for victim and you always want to protect them and see that those who hurt someone get punished and people can move on with their lives, but you know when you're a friend with someone and cool off this sort of spontaneous thinking  you contact your friend and go "dude what the fuck is going on?". 

Later on when I visited him to get filled in on his side I saw with my very own eyes messages on the phone that were sent between "A" and the "victim" (see article above for conversation links I can confirm the following are from a mobile phone where I saw the messages from myself). I seeing all the conversations from start to an end between them two with my own eyes and a larger image has come out and when you take a moment to step back and absorb all the facts you seeing and heard you start to see if few things don't add up in the story maybe changed over being passed on too much and certain "facts" that were gossiped about by the "scene police" about have changed over some time too so it was very suspicious.

Over the next few months there was a lot of "shitstorm" on the scene of course everybody took the "victims side" because she was in the spotlight her friends would spread the word of "warning" around to ANYONE who would listen how she was the victim of rape by "A" and they literaly took it to a new level to become the "scene police" and make sure everyone was aware of this even tho at that point there is no sign of any statements being made to the gardai or court stuff by the "victim" to have being begun. May I also mention over time victims girlfriend at the time "K" was also mentioned as a rapist, but only after some time.

 I'm sure many of you yourself were told this or know a handful of people who were told this about "A" just ask around and see for yourself how many people can tell you that this is actually what they hear from "certain individuals" at a "certain place" in a "certain scene"and they will probably give you the full history of events even tho they weren't there and just heard of it from so and so. From what I personally heard from first hand sources that "victims friends"who were approached by these people  (who were also probably not aware I or "A" knew). There were things being said about "A" in particular and at the time when he was helping out a local club "victims friend" JM actually said shit to one person I know for definite about that club and mentioned how there seem to be often cases of  "Peoples drinks being spiked" and how "this friend got raped by one of their staff" mentioning "A's" name, but keeping it very vague regarding did it happen at the venue or elsewhere and leaving the rest for the wild imagination.

PERSONAL NOTE: I found this very disrespectfull behaviour from "victims friend" towards the "victim" herself as someone very close to me was molested as a child by her stepfather and it is HELL to see someone grow up from a child to a teenager to an adult attempt to have a normal life and hide all this behind closed doors because they simply want a normal life back while dealing for few years of coming and going in the courts. Sadly I know few women like this and maybe so do you so you can relate from experience which is not pleasant at all, but one thing I found in common in all these women is they never want to be labelled as victims especially by their friends or treated like victims all they want is just normal lives back and fight through it all and just move on even if at times their bodies bear the scars they will have to hide for a lifetime, but not out of embaresment ,but out of the fact they do not want to be seeing as weak or victims and are still in the process of healing their mental states.A friend should be a friend and support their friends in need morally and mentally when they need an emotional pick-me up and friends don't point a finger and call a friend a "victim" for everyone to label and see them as one nor do they talk behind friends backs.

 It's a vicious circle and let me tell you it's a hard label to wash out if it ever comes off that is and I do not wish it on anyone.


In this situation while all this shit was spreading "on the shush" in the scene "A" was keeping out of the picture out of respect for the "victim" and how she felt about this situation and considering she did threaten him with legal action if you ask me his answer back was very diplomatic all things considering.:

http://veritas.gothic.ie/WA-AtoZ.txt

and let's be honest if you were raped or were convinced by your friend (who had beef with someone and could get personal vendetta out of using their friend) that what happened to you wasn't a drunken/drugged up mistake/accident, but a vicious case of rape because it was their personal way of getting back at someone without getting their own name and hands dirty (whatever the case may or may not be) in such mental state you as someone who feels pain and being taken advantage of would want to feel safe, to go out to places with your friends where you won't be triggered of the negative tought or feel threatened or uncomfortable and this is the least "A" felt he could offer to the "victim" after all that happened to make sure she has some bubble of security in social places and gatherings, to feel safe, supported through her journey of healing and not being left in the dark on her own to face all of her demons, but you know it was used as a situation to use against "A", to make him seen as if he is hiding in shame and gain more "sympothisers" on the matter who have heard only fragments of what have happened.

What actually was done to "A" by the scene police and seems still is being happening from time to time:

1. "A" has being gossiped about in club scene by many parties as number has grown past scene police at this point to spread the word "on the shush" of the incident of the side of the story of the "victims friends" and not "A" himself OR "the victim" herself and people who have never met "A" or bumped into him randomly in social places and said simple hello to him have being warned about "A" as "someone to watch out for".


2. The following incident seems be used as means of making "A" being asked not to turn up at certain events and one venues manager has informed "A" that "victim" has requested that if "A" and his friends turn up at the door they are not welcome at a " private event" because of the incident and anyone who turns up with him due to association with "A" are also not welcome. This was not posted publicaly by the "victims club"which is suspicious if you ask me.
This I personally see as "Victim" pushing for "A" to have no access to some of the  social life in Dublin goth scene and punishing any of his friends by association with him to be made to choose between being out with "A" on a night out or having NO ENTRY to these events and make it RATHER OBVIOUS that she is excluding him from the Dublin alternative scene, but still not making it public enough to tamper her clubs reputation.


3. From time to time her particular friend was seeing posting agressive post targeted at "A" in public sites such as G+ and facebook pages particularly of certain clubs facebook page where they feel they have to be treated differently to anybody else and get "their way" or they go to media to be aggressive and judge and target the club itself with it's association with "A" as he was helping out at that particular club. (This seems to have quieted down since A stepped down because "scene police" more less created online bolloxology and bullied "A" to step down because he is not verbal online in most cases and it's easy to pick on a quiet kid on the block. "A" will not admit this is a form of bullying but this is the most purest form of targeting, aggression and bullying towards someone and the "victim" as completely ok with this being done by one of her "friends")

4. Victim constantly over 2 years has threatened "A" with police and legal action seems when few people started asking for "A's" side of the story about 1.5 year into this bullshit and more people started asking questions especially why was there no legal action taken yet and why was there always an answer of "well I still got time to take legal action". THAT'S WHEN THE LEGAL SIDE KICKED IN and that's when "A" had to give his statement about 2 years into it RIGHT BEFORE XMASS (that's a bit of a kicker isn't it), because you know you have to add the icing on this cake just because.In the end case was dismissed , but the scene police believe they have the skill and authority to police these sorts of incidents how they see fit with witch hunting, aggressive behaviorus online and gossiping on the shush on club environments.

And you know so far I do ask myself who really is the true "victim" in this whole story?

Personally cycle of abuse comes to mind if you read the following short article it gives you a bit of an insight from psychological point of view, but the subject itself is rather huuge and can be taken in many different circumstances and events that may happen. What I mean by this is that I do have a strong feeling it is very strongly present in this situation. I will let actions of the events that are happening right now speak louder than words tho and make you make your own mind about this situation as I'm sure shit will still continue and it will be surfacing from time to time to general public.

https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2015/05/the-narcissistic-cycle-of-abuse/

What really brought a lot of questioning in me truly was how many things have being convenient for the "victim" and the "scene police" for their "personal gain" in the scene to stroke all of their Egos as there is a joke going around about how they only stick together because each one of them strokes each others ego and it seems few "things" they have gained in the scene was just out of peoples good intentions and kind heart which was triggered by "the event" or something on the similar lines because pitty does sells in our scene because one thing you cannot doubt Dublin goths have big hearts.

Like for example "the victim" started running her own little club starting shit PUBLICALLY with "A" ment she could pour dirt all over their biggest competitor club where "A" was helping out with some of the general on the night duties. Which meant they could in theory get more clientelle and grow in the future because people in Dublin mean well and have big hearts full of sympathy and support.

This was of the advantage to "the victim" herself and her friend MB who had personal vendetta not only with "A's" girlfriend at the time, but "W" because he would not break up with me and get with her when she has cheated on her boyfriend with him a long time ago and she hoped she could hop from one guy or another (Following person was also mentioned by the "victim" online as the friendly pusher to make her go all public about the incident), but all fell pear shaped and not as expected of course for her. So there is definitelly two women with personal vendetta in the Scene police (it is still in question if its vendetta of one who was under "friend influence") who wanted to see club where "A" was helping out dead and for her to take over as the big shot in the scene. Also may I mention JM their other scene police friend who had personal "burn" he could never get over because he was not part of the other clubs crew which he made pretty obvious few years back when club that "A" was helping out at started and was still getting it's footing. And JM is well known for having a big ego and being oblivious so it seems of how rude and abnoxious he is publically towards people and then wondering why people politely avoid him (This is not the only case he has bad blood history with Sedition Industries and also some people in Galway), but that's another story all together yet again, but just shows some people got patterns they follow pretty well. So I sense there is a rather big tension there with multiple people and egos to be too much of a coincidence.

There was an article in www.dublininquirer.com in 2016 where the "victim" actually tries to "diplomatically" show her event as superior to the club where "A" was helping out so it was very obvious that there was very big tension going on between the clubs that was made public and that was the only club that had "superiority complex" as any other smaller events in Dublin or even Belfast are very diplomatic and have friendly relationships with each other I know this for a fact from personal experience of seeing how well people get on between different clubs and how "victims" club also had held events on same nights as one of the well known club in belfast had and not a single fuck was given to respect big dates in a neighbouring club up north which was VERY BAD CALL!

 This place also claimed they welcomed anyone, then it was "elitist goth gathering" at one point, but down the line some egos clashed at "the victims" event as they do as the more pople you get together the harder it is to work with them if there is no decent leader keeping everything in check and few people have left the project due to "personal reasons" as they put it. (we all can speculate on was it that hard to work with members of the scene police and their friends or was there more dirt going on behind the scene and people politely didn't air out in the public OUT OF RESPECT and just being adults acting like adults.)

Other events that made me go hmmm........

*Wednesday 7th October 2015 3Teeth gig I got a message from a pal of mine another "A" asking about who is this "victim person" and being told she approached him and introduced herself to him on the lines of "Hi my name is "X" and I was raped by "A"". That night she ended up in the bands apartment and passed out at the after party due to heavy intoxication the band were not comfortable with it and there were few people witnesses to this. Some may call it a "cry for help and trying to find a way to deal with the mental mess", but where was this "scene police" that claimed they were the warriors of justice who protect their friends and want justice for them?

* Good few weeks after that another pal "J" sent me a photo of him and the "victim" drinking together in Madrid as he is living there right now and he tought it was incredible that by chance he got to meet someone from Dublin in his hometown and he had to share that news with me. Also reported "victim" was in a "heavily intoxicated state", but thats what happens in Madrid in general. We kept him out of the loop of the "incident" because some of us respect people and want people to make their own opinions on people rather than take sides. Plus lets be honest this scene police bullshit we all were VERY SICK OF, but yet again makes you go hmm......

I guess these two point alone make me VERY SKEPTICAL on the full story that is spread by people who have no involvement personally with the incident.

 The "victim" is allowed to feel how she feels (there is certainly no doubt in that!), she is only human and we all have feelings, but after rape it is not easy to get back to the reality which is scary world where small things that were just simple in the past become scary and so hard to deal with on day to day basis, when any moment you can start to panic, have an anxiety attack and be brought through the motions again , but I really want to know how do you deal with it when you are in a very highly intoxicated state? At such state one is soo vulnerable and how do you protect yourself from your internal demons that can crawl ontop of you any moment when you least expect it? Where there are soo many men around you that you now see as predators and not men and you are at your most vulnerable? Would you really put yourself into such vulnerable position? And for what?Why has nobody brought it up that this sort of behavior can put the victim into same situation as she claimed she was in? I know some will say it shouldn't put her in that position again this is true in perfect world and oh we all wish we lived in perfect worls, but harsh reality is when anyone is heavily intoxicated we all are absolute idiot an ontop of it all rather vulnerable too, shit that you may regret in the morning may happen, but sure you live you learn the hard way and you have to move on?

So where was this scene police again why did they not put their foot in to be the protection blanket for their friend even a word of reason along the journey of recovery? Was it to do with them not giving a shite really unless it suited them for their personal gain in some way?


I've known "A" for just over 8 years now and honestly I will be first to admit I did jump on the conclusion bandwagon when I first heard about the "incident", but I'm glad I have read all the real messages and heard his story from him directly and being approached with screen grabs of stuff and also stories of people being approached by these individuals. At the end of the day "A" is a very close friend of mine I have being on multiple occasions at his house parties and on my own with "A" in the house over few days even when I was only 18!!!! We have a massive age gap between us , but it never stopped us being friends and he had never had a single issue of me being that "dryshite" at his house parties. He will tease me about being a dryshite and make me a cup of tea or coffee in most cases. I always felt safe around him and still do even in my most emotionally vulnerable when he has not taken advantage of me even ONCE or hinted at it, he is a very caring and big hearted person who would put his neck on the line to make others comfortable, but you know I'm soo sick and discusted how everyone is sitting ducks and being going on: "I don't wanna take side in case I take side that looses, and I personally will look bad", nobody is asking anyone to take sides, just open your eyes and ears and absorb all facts that are out there. 

I genuinely feel very disappointed and disgusted with the scene right now there are few people that make me feel sick and I lost a lot of respect for few of them and seems lately number is just growing because EVERYONE IS ON BLOODY EGGSHELLS and going around the problem beating around the bush should I say. Why can we not get the actual law to sort this shit out than let unqualified people make the witch hunt that is not fixing ANY PROBLEMS? There are people out there who spend years to learn how to fix these sorts of incidents and disputes in a neutral and fair manner so why do we not let them sort it out?

Are we truly gone this mad that we are allowed to make our own rules and if we feel like it we should be able to push people towards exclusion and alienation and maybe even suicidal tendencies in some cases just for our personal kicks and vendetta?Why only some people allowed to do that, but others don't?


Why every time we want to see a bigger picture of what the fuck is going on we are being told that we must be victim blaiming and not acknowledged that we are just trying to see bigger picture?

I feel a lot of you guys out there are not in this situation and deal with this same as cancer. If I dont have it or anybody close to me doesn't have it I don't care, but sure I will be aware of it and wear a badge to prove that I support the cause of greater good and problem is there?

I feel the alternative scene of Dublin right now is stinking and acting like a bunch of kids. Satify the loudest screamer, but don't do shit diplomatically and fair for all parties like you're used to "sure who cares if someone gets hurt" It saddens me that recent events were brought on by people I considered friends myself and who had nothing to do with the incident themselves it's a big kick in the teeth and honestly I myself feel very unwelcome by you lot in the scene if you don't welcome my friend who is basically accused not by the law but the "scene police" and "the victim" right now and I don't know if I feel upset or indifferent about it at this point. There is a few of you lot that forgot the meaning of a small reject community sticking together because we are a small number as is and Ireland is still rather backwards.

So I do hope this will raise some questions among some people and wake up some thinking and discussion in the community we are having, where did it go so backwards that people have to gang up on individuals like vultures when its none of their shit wtf is happening and they don't see the underlayers that are around and also in some cases changing to make the story more *shocking* or *sympathisisng* towards certain individuals

And if I'm unwelcome in your events, gigs , or clubs in Dublin please have some balls to write a comment below and sign it with your name as a promoter and a figure of power at events and have some balls at least to make it public for that as I'm truly sick of all this bullshit and that I cannot bring MY FRIEND "A" out to some event with me but you know there is this big tagline of "we are friendly and welcome everyone" which is complete bullshit!!

And surely you can add me to your shit list and throw verbal shit my way on a night out if you see me on a night out and wanna be that big person who gets pat on the back and an ego stroke because they this is how you roll.I have a right to question stuff that ruins peoples lives and have it out in the open I'm truly prepared for the shitstorm that is majority ganging up on single individual because there is "great strenghts in numbers", but you know what I will still question everything no matter what I don't feel like conforming with majority when majority hasn't asked for a bigger picture.

If any of you wanna talk privately about this matter I can only talk on my side of things while "A" can only tell his side of the story, but you know how to get in touch with us the old "e-mail" way (actually "A" has all his contact details online phone/messengers even a map to his house). I'm certainly expecting more hate and abuse emails and messages in next while, but genuinely had to get this out of my system.There is a lot of stuff that was not mentioned in this , but yeah this is just the tip of this bloody iceberg and my side of the story of what the fuck is going on.

Comments

  1. Thank you sincerely, i don't want to or care to change minds, i just want to know clearly who is safe to approach and who to avoid as its a nightmare not knowing (and feeling that the person beside me might be wanting to extricate themselves but feels trapped by 'polite', yeah it might be paranoia, but i always have worried about this its so much worse when ppl may believe im capable of these crimes

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  2. Alan is a rapist #veritas

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  3. A is a rapist #veritas

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  4. https://frinkiac.com/img/S07E23/361176.jpg won't somebody please think of A?

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    1. so 3 comments but too cowardly to identify yourself, and no content to counter either the argument above, or the veritas testimony, if you have a reason to believe I am lying why not share It?

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    2. Read your bullshit. Still read like rape to me

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    3. You know that is slander right? Like best will in the world to you but your opinion doesn't allow you to state that as fact without some sort of legal justification.

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    4. Ha ha what Alan am I talking about them? Try suing me off that m80

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  5. All I can say, you are both very welcome at Defying Culture events (so is the other side of this unfortunate case). Hopefully, see you soon.

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    1. DJ Defier thank you kindly for your kind and diplomatic words truly appreciate your neutrality as it's the bestest side one can take on the matter and really hope to make it to one of your amazing events soon as any time I attended them I had an amazing night out myself :)

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  6. You want to talk about bullying what about publicly naming people by their full name and making vague threats re:allusions to their safety like A did in his blogs?

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    1. Well, seeing as A has never done either of those things, and considering that the lying manipulative shit-stirring friends of the "victim" have indeed done these things AS WELL AS ensuring that A is banned from events then I think you need to go away and reconsider what "bullying" means. I can lend you a legal dictionary if you like?

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    2. Actually what they call threats, was done as a word of advice after getting a phonecall from a very pissed off friend who said "I wanted to punch him square in the face for saying that about you" who I talked down while he was in phant/fibbers just moments after being approached by JM,
      I simply pointed out that approaching strangers(to them) who happen to be friends who just haven't been around in years, (6+ in this case) can be a dangerous thing , as not all are as non violent as myself (as this one was)
      as i said at the time before removing the warning as it was being used as a distraction from the rest of the message.
      saying dont poke tigers with sticks, is not a threat, its advice. if you approach some people and 'warn' them about a good friend of theirs, they do tend to get angry.

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    3. Ha ha poking a tiger
      �� cus you are a wild beast." Don't fuck with me m80 I'm a marine with 100 confirmed kills." In the words of mcgregor you'll do nuthing A

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    4. ok lets try that again for the willfully ignorant, if i give you the advice that its unwise to walk through the george wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with homophibic remarks and proclaiming all present will be eternally damned, its equally not a threat (a claim i will do a person harm) it is simply pointing out that doing something that will directly annoy/aggravate others *like approaching strangers (to him), as JM was doing) could/did/and will likely again provoke them to respond (when he idiotically picks someone who knows me better), as this person wanted to and would have if i had not convinced him otherwise.
      again failing to read/comprehend the important difference between, threat:I will do X, and advisory: someone may likely do X, (if you continue doing Y in a dangerous to you way)
      this was removed, because just as it was then, it is now being intentionally responded to as if it was a threat despite the multiple assurances and explanations/clarifications and examples clearly illustrating the entirely different motive and intent.

      someone with basic english please try explaining it to them for me, as obviously i'm making some assumption about their reading level/education thats proving to be a barrier

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  7. It took me a while to read through this diatribe a bullshit. You should probably plan out what you want to say before committing it to words in the future. I have a feeling that most people didn't get very far.

    For someone who states clearly in the beginning of their post that they do not victim blame, you have surely put someone on trial here. Which is pretty disgusting. You putting a person's character on trial to sow doubt on their testimony and their own experiences is, in fact, victim blaming. And shitty behavior all round. Then bringing your own insecurities and your oddly insane view point into this whole mess, just screams as attention seeking behavior.

    If you were my friend sticking up for me, I would be highly embarrassed. I would never condone the words written here. "A" has once again shown his true colours in this. To publically endorse any type of support, even if it is absolutely incorrect and shameful, shows just how much remorse he feels towards someone he hurt.

    You talk about things not settling down, well here is the exact reason why it hasn't. Have you ever once thought that maybe "A" has destroyed his own reputation by his own behavior? From what I know of the scene, people only started to really have an opinion of the matter after he posted his Veritas post. Self fulfilling prophecies much? If he had just kept quiet and carried on as usual he most likely would not be getting this reaction.

    So yes, this post will probably not do you any favours. Not because of some imaginary scene police, not because you have openly supported "A"... but because this was a very shitty thing to do. This is all on you.

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  8. Thanks to geisha for doing this write up, it's good to see many other people taking up a stance to say "hey, something doesn't smell right about things" and putting themselves out there and offering their opinion.

    To the anonymous poster, if you have a differing opinion then put up your own blog and let people make up their own mind, coming in here and harassing people doesn't do any favours for your character. Not only that but saying the things you are saying without leaving your name is cowardly and makes you look like, for lack of a better word, a shit-stirrer, and nothing you say here should be taken seriously. A should have shut up and taken the abuse instead of defending his name .... Are you high?

    I have not seen you defend the victim in question here but just belittle and abuse anyone showing for A. By the way, A stands for accused, not guilty.

    Getting back to the blog, it has been an upheaval for the Goth community these last 3 years and it's no longer about the V(ictim) or A(ccused) any more which is shameful. It should have been dealt with in private by the police and involved parties, instead it is now about the us/them scenario. Every time this issue seems to die down the scene police (SP) step in and make sure to rock it up again, this is why it's gone on so long, this handful of people have done the most damage to the scene and yet want to blame one person. In actual fact the more damage these people do the less people are willing to listen to the victim, they have done more damage to this person on their holy crusade of drama and it is no longer about said victim which is a shame.

    Props also to DJ Defier, that is the exact approach we should all be taking since none of us were present that night and whoever is in the wrong with the original problem will eventually have to face the truth and that is through the police, not the SP who are the biggest problem with this entire debacle, shame on them.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I was one of the people approached in the pub and taken aside for a moment. I was asked did I hear about this "A" person and subsequently, I started to get told how he was a bad person.
    I hadn't heard anything and was unaware of any of this.
    The person warning me was unaware I knew "A" for a long time.
    Kind of wanted to slap the person who approached for the random gossip, but that's not something I would do.
    Instead I just told the person I didn't want to hear it, and opted to ask "A" myself.
    A was not present that night, but the following week in the same location, I bumped into "A" and one of his friends. I asked the story, and "A" was surprised that people were being approached about him, as it turned out, the events had happened over a year previous.
    He did tell me what happened, I had expected a prettier picture, but he explained it all to me.
    It's an awful situation for both people to be in.
    It really doesn't have anything to do with us.
    Both parties should be left in peace to deal with all this themselves.
    Accusations and statements from concerned friends on either side, won't help anyone, it will just keep digging up the same crap and will allow neither party to heal.

    ReplyDelete

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